I probably shouldn't care, but I do :(

   So, I've been thinking a lot lately...I know; scary concept...Anywho, I've been thinking about family mostly...How much we miss them, how much we miss when being away, ect...I have a HUGE family, and we keep in touch pretty darn well...Ryan's family is turning out to be pretty large as well...But you know, if it wasn't for his mum, we wouldn't ever hear from any of his side of the family...It's not like we don't try...Ryan's added them all on Facebook, we message them, but get nothing in return...

   More interesting to me is the way they all treat his brother...Complete opposite! It seems that everyone is tucked right up his ass...He's included in everything, they all talk to him, and they show how much they love him openly...I can only imagine how it feels to Ryan, to see everyone make such a big deal about his brother, but seemingly ignore him...I just feel horrible for him...Probably more selfishly from my point of view, it hurts me to no end that they all make a deal about his brother's GIRLFRIEND, but make absolutely no effort to acknowledge me...I'm Ryan's wife, flippin related to all of them, and it doesn't matter at all...What's so wrong with me that people could care less that I'm now a part of the family? It's just LOVELY to see them all say they love & miss her, when she could just be gone tomorrow cause they break up or something...Yet I'm going nowhere, and I don't exist at all...

   I don't know if it's because we're just not in the Maine/New Hampshire area, or what...Even if that's it, how shitty is that??? Out of sight, out of mind? That's royally messed up...Maybe it's just because my family is so prominent in our lives...I just don't understand how you can treat one of the boys like a God or something, and act like the other one is a scumbag not worth mentioning...It's not flippin fair, and I KNOW it hurts Ryan...Will he come out & say that? Of course he won't...He just holds it all in, cause I'm sure it seems that it won't do a bit of good if he WERE to speak up about it...I'm sure it hurts even more with my family being the way they are to us, but I think he cherishes that SO much...They treat him like he's been a part of our family forever, and he just adores them all for it...

   Ryan's mum has just been awesome...We both feel luck such a huge part of her life, and it feels great...We might not have known her the whole time we've been together, but it just feels like we've known each other our whole lives...Having her be so close to us, and support us both so much, means more than she'll ever know...We will for sure be spendign time with her when we go home! There's no doubt about that :)

   Ryan really wants to make a trip up to Bath to see family up there when we're home, too...I just fear it'll do more harm than good to him...Also, I don't know if I really want to go see people who act like we don't exist, anyway...I just feel horrible for Ryan in the situation :(