I'm a little bit of everything, all rolled into one...

   There will be a few topics in this blog today...First, I want to say that I think I might be starting to lose weight...While it's not much on the scale, my jeans are all a bit more loose lately, and my shoulders feel more defined than before...Not to mention my arms are getting smaller from the lifting of grain bags...I really hope I start dropping some poundage soon, as I want to get back to my weight/size from 2005...I'm very determined!!

   I'm really kinda sick of people making promises to me, or saying things, and never following through with them...Don't promise me you will do something, only to never do it...You KNOW when you make the promise if you'll be able to keep it or not, so don't lie for my sake...I'd rather know up front so I don't waste what little free time that I have...

   I'm also realizing some people we thought were amazing friends were mostly users...We tend to spoil our friends with crap...Well, a few of those said friends seem like they could give a shit less about us now that we aren't living near them, and can't afford to send them stuff...Really kind of pathetic when you think about it...Why pretend to care about people just to get stuff for you and/or your kids? I just don't see how it's worth the effort you put in being fake all of the time...I guess I just don't have the whole "user" thing in me...I just couldn't do it...It just makes us cherish our REAL friends and our families that much more...We're just not about surrounding ourselves with negative, fake-ass people anymore...

   It's also irritating to me when we are more adult about our money than people older than us...Perhaps we're just used to not having much, or we're more mature than a lot of people our age, but there are just some things we can't do with our money...One huge thing is buying things you can't really afford...What good is some expensuve thing if you can't really enjoy it fully, cause looking at it reminds you of all the constructive things you could have done with the cash??? Or when people buy things they don't really need...I mean, don't get me wrong, we buy dumb extras every now & then...It's when people do it consistantly that seems so moronic to me...You might as well open your wallet up & toss all your money into the toilet...

   Lastly, I want to something that happened recently. An old classmate of mine took his life just over a week ago...While I didn't know him super well, I talked to him in classes & in passing...He was a great guy who treated everyone equally, and was nice to most everyone...Of all the "popular" kids, he was definitely one of the best of them...He had an awesome smile, and could make anyone laugh...His passing really saddened me...However, some people made it seem like it shouldn't effect me, because I wasn't all that close to him...Is it really about that? Can someone not mourn the loss of someone who was legitimately an amazing person? I didn't know you had to spend a ton of time with someone to miss them when they were gone...It's just stupid to treat someone like their feelings don't matter, just because others might be hurting worse... Everyone hurts when a great person is lost; there is a void & sadness no matter what...

   More importantly, it made me hope that if any of my friends were ever feeling down & helpless, that they know they can always come to me to talk...It's important to have a strong support system when things are going on in your life, and a shoulder to cry on if needed...Please, please let those you love & care about know that you are always there for them...Far too many lives are lost by people who thought they were alone & had no one to turn to...Also, let people know how you feel about them...You never know how much your words impact others; it may just be what someone needs to make it through...

   I love you all...

Siiiiiiick!!!

   I don't get sick very often, but when I do, I become ridiculously clingy...Just a few minutes ago I was whining at Ryan because he wasn't in bed so I could cuddle up to him...Cuddle? More like latch on to him with a death grip, lol...I'm not usually so needy, but being sick does it to me...What can I say? Captain doesn't mind snuggling with me, so that's nice...lol...

   Ryan officially has two jobs...I am so incredibly proud of him...He has a ton of motivation right now, and he's working very hard...I'm still working at Peg's & doing parties here and there...I really hope we're in our own place by the end of next year at the latest...My ultimate goal would be to have both of our parents over for Christmas dinner in our new house in '11...I guess we'll just have to wait & see...

   Odd fact: I'm totally addicted to the show Baggage on GSN...Very, very interesting...lol...The show makes me laugh pretty hard... Very odd people out there!

   Hmmm, I think I'm going to take some cold meds & snuggle up in bed...I'm ready to go to sleep, lol...